Rechelle Conde-Nau - Pocaster, Blogger & Confidence Coach

My special guest on today's episode is Rechelle Conde-Nau. Rechelle is a blogger, podcaster, and confidence coach focused on helping others to overcome fears in order to discover and become who they already are. I was privileged to be a guest  on her "Unabashed You" podcast awhile back so it's exciting to have her now appear on mine. Check out that interview here and follow her show: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6ofptdvu6Vc0e44sj7EXRp?si=FCRGtcKHSDqs7HmW9Nj9GQ

I've very much enjoyed getting to know Rechelle, and I know that you will too.  

You can find Rechelle on her website https://unabashedyou.com/  where you can learn about her coaching and sign up to receive her email newsletter. 

Or visit her Instagram https://www.instagram.com/unabashedyou/  

and Facebook https://www.facebook.com/unabashedyou

Check out the full video version of this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/DQ8SiZGei78?si=cBjhwK0n1SXNwBw1

Please like and subscribe here, and also visit my links page to see all of the other places we can connect. This is the hub for more information on my website, my coaching program, the podcast, social media and to subscribe to my newsletter. Hope to see you there soon! https://www.joyfulicity.com/links

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:08

Welcome to the Joyfulicity podcast. I'm your host, Laura Wakefield, and it's my privilege today to have as my guest, Rochelle Condi now. She is a blogger and podcaster herself at the Unabashed You podcast, and I had the privilege of being a guest on her podcast, and I'm so thrilled that she has agreed to come and be here on mine. She's also a coach, and her basic premise is helping people discover who they already are. Yes. And I love that so much. So welcome, Michelle. Thank you. Well, thank you. It's so wonderful to say yes to this invitation. I feel like it's another opportunity for women to uplift women, not just as podcast hosts and guests, but also in general. I feel like we do so much better when we work together. Absolutely. I 100% agree with that. So where did you come up with this concept of living as the unabashed you and discovering who you already are. Usually people have kind of a source where that their passion came from. Right. And I think like a lot of people, you know, I could sort of look back and see sort of multiple things that led me to that place. But I had gone through a particularly hard season with a child and then also with a friend. And I sort of came out of that just deeply wounded. And I let myself feel all those feels. And then when I was ready to kind of come out, I said, okay, so I had this big talk with myself. What is it that I really value? Kind of like my three core values. And I just came up with that myself. And I thought about it and I said, I need to be authentic, transparent, and vulnerable. And those were, I just grabbed them and claimed them. And I was like, okay. And the people in my life, I'm pulled to people who feel that same. So I'm not as pulled to people who are, you know, really perfect seeming or really polished. I'd rather get into the raw and the nitty gritty. And of course, there's all kinds of time to, you know, get dressed up and look pretty and all those things. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about, I'd rather get on and say, hey, I've had a crappy day. And can you relate? You That's being real to me. And, and I, I want to be around people who feel that same way. And I think that's probably one of the reasons that you and I, you know, drew to each other was that same kind of, um, that same kind of, um, sort of you, you develop, I mean, it's your core values and obviously there are others, but those are really primary, but then you, you are drawn to people who have those same, who present those same, those same qualities. Peace. Then you tend to bring those people into your life. They manifest when you start really living into those principles. Those people suddenly show up all around you. Yes, absolutely. That's true. That's absolutely true. And I've discovered that not just in my personal life, but because I think the people that know me well, my people know that already about me. And then, you know, the people I was connecting with on Instagram had that same kind of mindset Absolutely. And I actually wrote down those three things from your website and was going to ask you, could you elaborate a little bit more on what those words mean to you? Like, what does it mean to be authentic in your view and transparent and vulnerable? Okay, so authentic means it's that become who you already are. It's that idea that particularly as women and obviously being a woman, I feel like I can speak more into that place and also the fact that I'm on the back end. of life, I feel like I spent way too much time sort of shrinking into who I was and not feeling comfortable and confident with that. And I think I recognize that in other women as well. Even young girls start to get that message of all the different messages we get. And I just feel like I want us as women in particular, men too, but I speak more to that side of things, is to really break free and learn how to You can't get rid of your fears. I mean, that's unrealistic. But you can learn through some strategies and tools that you can kind of bring that down. I think of it as tipping the scale so that the confidence can come up. So if you can learn how to kind of keep the fear down, then the confidence has room to grow. And then you can feel more at ease and feel more comfortable, become who you already are. playful. Like you are so playful on your posts on Instagram, that that's clearly something that you are and you don't shy away from it. You don't say, Oh no, I can't do that because what will people think? And you know what I mean? Yeah. All those things that we tell ourselves that you reached a point where you said, well, you know what? I am just not going to care because this is who I am. So since I am playful, I'm going to show up playful. So whoever you are be that and that's where the authentic part comes in and that's where you know yes please discover who you are because i i really think that a lot of us do not take enough time to figure out who we are we just kind of glide through life and you know you can you can get by and all that and you can reach the end and go wait a minute uh-oh i think no but then you're you know sadly you're out of time but why not somewhere along the way go well yeah if no notice that about myself or if you do particular like assessments that are available on you know the internet I would say my sort of my two favorites we did a whole series in October explore more of you and I would say the Enneagram was one of the ones that I particularly had known some about and learn more about through doing that and then the other one would be you know Myers-Briggs or there's one that's a free version they don't call it Myers But it's basically the same thing, 16 personalities. the flip side as well you know if it turns out you're prone to resentment because of your personality type you can be aware of that and not like oh no I can't be that anymore but just like notice when it comes up yeah in fact I the other morning I felt myself being resentful and I went yeah I am prone to that I really so just kind of sitting in it for a minute going yeah I am prone to that but I don't have to stay there I can know And then I can continue on my day and not be afraid by that having been my reaction, because the way my personality shows up, that is one of the ways, because you've got to balance it all out. You can't just be all the good things. You've got these other things that are, I like more the word challenges than the word weakness. So it's when the resentment comes up, it's like, oh yeah, oh yeah, that's okay. okay, that's right. Okay, yes. And then, you know, it might have a little self-talk and then I can move on. I don't have to stay there or feed it or wallow in it. Recognize it, accept it, process it and move on. But I love that because I think that, you know, in today's world with social media and all of that, a lot of us are living very curated lives. You know, we're presenting only the positive Because, you know, because you can, you know, you can create a profile filters and you can just put the good stuff in there and it starts to feel looking at everybody else's profiles like that's all there is, is all this good stuff. And so we start to hide those negatives. And when you finally just start to put it out there. not only is it very freeing for you, because then it's like, who's going to criticize you? I already outed myself as that problem. You know, I already said I have that problem. But also I find that it gives other people permission. Yes. To show up that way too. Yes. That they have to be perfect with you. Yes. Yes. I think permission is key in a lot of these different areas to reach a point of saying, yes, I give myself permission to feel that feeling, to understand I'm bent that way. And permission also, like you say, to show up on social media and say, you know, again, back to the crappy day, whatever, you know, whatever. And honestly, people are going to be drawn, particularly the people that for which they also hold those values dear, they're going to be drawn to that, like, oh, Laura had a bad day. Oh, I'm so sorry. And, you know, just type a little, oh, you know, hopefully tomorrow's better or yeah, I get it. Me too. Or, you know, whatever it is that you want to comment about. But I think you're more drawn to, it's like you understand, oh yeah, they're not so perfect because come on, if we all went to, you know, professional hairstylists, a professional makeup artist, we had professional lighting professionals, sound equipment. I mean, we, we all could do an amazing layout, right? Photos. I mean, it's done all the time, but that's not real. It's fun. And there's a place for that, but that's not the whole thing at all. Not at all. That's not all of it. And I liked what you said about balance that, you know, I don't necessarily want to be out there every day, putting all negative out there. No, no, Right. Right. Right. Right. I mean, you know, I've been talking a lot on Instagram about sort of, I view the fear and confidence as opposite of each other, right? So there's a lot of things that we do as women that would start from a very young age that we, you know, we doubt ourselves, we're insecure, we feel less than, we start feeling more invisible as we age, we, you know, it goes on and on. Comparison, like you talked about, comparing ourselves, we're people pleasers, we are, or if we actually Oh, yes. Oh, no, I'm not a podcaster. I'm not, you know, all that self-doubt. And that's really the place I want to speak into. Like, whoever you are, be a good one. I love that. And I have here... One of the questions that you pose on your website is who would you be if you weren't afraid? Absolutely, absolutely. And that was one of the questions that really propelled me forward because I very much felt like, who am I to think I could have a podcast? Who am I to think I could write a blog? I mean, there really was a lot of self-doubt and that was one of the questions that it's kind of funny how you come across different things and You just know it's for you in that moment because it's just... You just get that, oh my gosh, this is for me right now in this moment. And the other question was, what are you waiting for? So those kind of kept coming up and I was like, oh, this is for me. This is for me. So I felt if I want to speak into a place of helping other women feel comfortable and confident and courageous, because it does take courage to get there, then I have to to do the thing. And it doesn't matter how it turns out. It doesn't matter. And that was that fear of failure, fear of success. I mean, that was right in there too. Okay. So what if it's a flop? Okay. Well, I probably learned a lot of neat stuff and I probably met some new people. And so how can that be a bad thing? I'll just now pivot and I love the pivot. I'm now just going to take that pivot and who knows what's next, but There will be something next, no matter what that is or what that looks like. So it's kind of like the stop looking at as a failure because I don't really believe in that anymore. But I had a fear of it. Sure. I for sure had a fear of it before I started. And it was like, you know what? And it's that worst case scenario. What's the worst case scenario? What if no one listens? Okay. No one listens. And no one does. All right. So, so what? You learned how to do a lot of stuff and now you, oh, there's a new thing I think I want to try and now I'm going to pivot. So it's not, it's not a loss. It's just a change. So you've got to do this through that mindset work and the reframing work of paying attention to what you say to yourself and then also learning better ways to speak to yourself. And then when that fear comes, because it will, it's not going to, that's not going to stop, but you, you really do learn to listen to it and look at it. had to see it for what it is and you know some of the different techniques and tricks are not even they're not tricks they're not tricks they're strategies of paying attention how you speak to yourself and and saying some new things to yourself so that it's like okay so i i am going to do this wouldn't i want my daughter yeah my daughters to try the thing or would i tell them oh no no no don't just stay tight in the bud stay tight in the bud don't oh no no no no i would say go, go girl, blossom, bloom, see what happens. So why am I going to be different than what I want my daughters to be? Or anyone. Or anyone, my sons, my sons, we've got sons too, but I'm speaking to it just a little more into women because I think each sex has their own particular things that they deal with fear-wise, identity-wise and all of that. Well, I meant more that like, I've sent messages of fear to myself Yes. Exactly. Yes. Oh, no, no one's going to want to listen to you. It's like the messages I send to myself are so much harsher than I would send to my daughters, to my friends, to a coaching client, or even to an absolute stranger. I would give them more credit than I give myself. Right. Yes. And obviously, there's something wrong with that. I mean, in the sense that that's not fair to you. So to recognize that you do that, that I do that, that a lot of women do that, and to say, whoa, wait a minute, I'm I need to take my own advice. I need to model that for them. And it doesn't really matter how it turns out. I'm going to give it my all, and I will be better off for having tried than not having tried at all. And that's really key. It's the how would you feel if you don't try. That's just like, that's an awful, awful feeling, that regret. Well, I wonder what would have happened if, if, if. No, no, no. Mm-mm. Well, and I think sometimes we think that by waiting, there will come this magical time where there isn't fear. That, oh, if I just get more education or if I get a little older or maybe I'll do it after my kids are gone or whatever thing we're putting out there. But like you were saying, you kind of morph straight from fear of one thing into fear of another thing. Then you think, you know, you either think you're not experienced enough or you're too old by the time you have the experience. You know, that's that magical no fear time is never coming. are in real life tend to be very different from the person you are in your imagination. I like the idea of getting those closer to each other, aligning those a little bit, a lot closer to one another. And what do you think causes that? Because if you look at a two-year-old, they're pretty close to who they really are. They're usually pretty out there with their desires, their wants, their feelings about things. You kind of usually know what a two-year-old thinks about things. Absolutely. It happens. How do we And I think women are way, way separated, I think, sometimes between those two states. How do we get there? When you see them, what do you observe? unfortunately really get in the way of us staying to that to staying a little more true to ourselves I think it's you know sometimes it's environment sometimes well-meaning parents might say things friends school teachers I mean it just the list goes on and on I mean it's and everybody well-meaning for the most part there's always somebody who's not but yeah generally well-meaning but we just I just see it as that kind of shrinking back in to who we really are and just kind of holding that here and I just don't I don't like that image I like the image of the flower blossoming the flower blooming kind of shrinking back and going back into the bud I just don't I don't want that for myself and I don't want that for anyone else so if I can if I can help speak into that by encouraging and the podcast was really born from that place of having first it started out as a for women it was women talking about it was always unabashed you but then the tagline was women talking about stuff and and that's kind of how it started and then and then some men and you know young men were telling me they were listening i was like oh oh okay well that's good okay i so i kind of tooled it i you know you restructure a bit and i was like okay i don't want this then if men are getting value from this. So it opened up and then the tagline become who you already are. Because I think, you know, when you think about, and this could be true of all different kinds of things, but a quick example would be, you know, when you were handed your first child, right? You're like, oh, I'm a mother, but you don't know what that is yet. You have been assigned that role, but think of all you have to do to become And it's still going, by the way, with all your kids. You know, it's not done. When it morphs, then it changes. Yes, yes. You're never done becoming. No, you're never done. And that's why I like the ING of things, because you never arrive. You're growing, working, processing, feeling, doing, being. I mean, it's all ING. And so you're still coming into, the mother that you are to your nine children. I want to keep, keep it, you know, I love that number. It's just so incredible, but, but that, you know, and you've got a different relationship. So you're becoming, you know, it's still, it's still ongoing. You're not going to arrive. You haven't arrived and you won't arrive, but that's, I think that's the beauty of this life is that we are ING the whole time. And what you do with your INGs, I think is, is, is, is telling and important. And I just want to speak more encouragement that's really my number one gift is encouragement i mean i've taken all kinds of assessments that always that always comes in whether it's through like teaching or administration or whatever gifts i end up with it's the backbone of those is encouragement i mean and like you said the stranger like i will be in like you know a a restaurant or a coffee place and just like oh say you're doing a great job i noticed you're working really hard People so need to hear that. Like, it's really remarkable. I've been thinking that lately, when you have a positive thought about someone to speak it, because it literally may have been weeks or months since anybody said anything positive to them at all. Absolutely. And that seems so hard to believe, but it's really true. A lot of people do not get that positive message in their life. And even a stranger saying, I really appreciate you. You're working really hard. Thank you so much for that. It can make such a difference. It really can. It really can because you don't know. And we say being seen is so important. And it is. Like you say, we don't know how much that person is being seen in their own life by all the people in their lives. And I feel really grateful for the opportunity to be helpful to serve. I love the idea of being to serving, of being in service. to others. That's something that, you know, when I go somewhere, I expect really good service. And that doesn't mean I want to be pampered or I want to be treated in like a VIP fashion, but I want eye contact. I want you to ask me, do I need anything else? And I will do the same. I was always challenged, I mean, no matter what kind of job I've had, and I've had, you know, plenty of jobs obviously through your early part of your life but then career wise it's like what else can I do to excel in this position of service how else can I serve so since I expect that of myself I expect that of other people too See, I love that because that kind of brings me to the other two questions. Okay. Like the website, why are you here? And what are you doing about it? Right. I actually teach a workshop for women that where we dive right into, you can call it purpose and calling. There's all kinds of different ways to look at it, but it's basically what do you have to give? And when you have that thing to And it's it's this is the challenge is it's two words. It's two words. And so you have to think really hard. What are my two words going to be? And then so when you have that thing to give you the passion that you're now passion plus intention equals purpose. That's kind of how I like to say it. Why are you so why are you here? What is your passion? What is the thing you you you have to do? I mean, that's really, it's that simple. What's the thing you have to do? Once you can identify that, and by the way, it does not have to be this big, massive career that's so successful and I'm an eight-figure coach and all that. That's not, gosh, there's so much of that out there. That's not what that means. It can be as simple as, in fact, I worked with a woman who volunteers once a week at a hospital to visit some of the believers there to give them communion if they'd like to have communion and you know we did a whole thing around that so here she is doing something of service and she's you know, it has purpose to it. And when she's doing that, what are people receiving? So it's a give and receive purpose and calling that starts with your passion. And again, it can be, it can, it can be, you know, family oriented. It can be different. I mean, it's all kinds of things for all kinds of people. So yeah. Why are you here? Why are you here? Why? I mean, that's something that I think a lot of people don't think about or look at question. It's a big question. Oh, absolutely. That is a huge question. And that's your passion. And what are you doing about it? That's your purpose. You can't just, in my opinion, have those things and not do something about it. The whole idea of you being here is to identify... why are you here and then what you're going to do about it and again it doesn't have to be scaled and this big massive thing if if that's what you want great but it can be as simple as i'm every time i take a walk this was something i did a couple years few several years ago i want to make eye contact with every person i walk past every gardener every co-walker every person with a dog i want to make eye contact and say, hey, good morning. How are you doing today? Or something. I just want that person. It was a simple thing, but I noticed a multitude of reactions that really reinforce my idea to do that, my choice to do that. And then, cause I did have those moments of, oh my gosh, I don't think anybody saw that has really seen this person yet today or has reached out to say hello or whatever. It's, it's really quite, it's very moving. So again, it can be a very simple thing or it can be, it can be, you can make it what you want it to be, but I do enjoy it very much because I've worked with women who are like, right. books or starting businesses or doing these different things and kind of getting started with the two words each. You know how I like words because I asked you what three words you use to describe yourself. I love words. I love words. Words are powerful. Words are great. And I want to do a whole course just on words because I do think they're so powerful. My thesaurus on online is that page is out every time I'm on my computer every time because I'll think, what does that mean again? And I'll look it up. Oh my gosh, that's right. It means this. Confidence means belief in self, believing in yourself. I mean, that's powerful to understand what that means. So anyway, yeah, so that's why are you here? What are you doing about it? Absolutely. Because that's the next question. You get clear on those words. Are you doing anything yet? Yes, yes. And then we come up with a whole like personal mission statement and practical steps and timeline for those steps and then being held accountable. And that's a big piece of what I do is being held accountable because I know and I've taken a lot of courses. I'm sure you have too. And there's a lot of wonderful content out there. There really is. However, a lot of it is do it yourself. And there is a place for that. And I've gotten a lot of value out of the do-it-yourself courses, right? But I want to be there with a group of women and say, okay, so how did everybody do with that last deadline? And it's okay, by the way, if you didn't meet it, because this is not like that. This is not rigid. Life happens, or maybe you're caught up in a fear. Let's talk about it. And so what do you think? helped you back, but what did work for you? Or, you know, to really be with them and unpack that. I mean, I've done this. I'm doing this. It's not that I've arrived. I have not. I do this myself. I'm doing this myself. So I want to come alongside and be there and say, okay, what are our, let's three more action steps for, and what's our next due date going to be? What's action steps that you decide on to get you closer to you know this goal that's kind of out there but oh my gosh how do i get there okay we're just gonna you know kind of chunk it chunk it little little steps chunk chunk chunk chunk little steps and then by the next thing yes by the next thing you know you're like what i i've done that oh my gosh i mean it just feels so good otherwise it's too overwhelming you need us and again back to the accountability piece just telling somebody else that you're going to do it and it's your timeline, it's not my timeline, putting that out there you're much more apt to actually follow through than if you just keep it to yourself. That's just science. That's just science. Well, knowing you're going to need to report to somebody keeps it top of mind. Right. And I would take out the word report and I would put share. See, I'm really weird. You're right. I like that better. Yeah, share. Because I don't like, no, no, no. It's not like that. It's like, okay, so share. You said you thought you'd get that by June 1st. That didn't happen. Okay. So did you make Was it too big? Was it too much? I mean, you know, let's just kind of whittle that down to what happened, why. And it's really all meant to learn from. It's not meant to be... you know, you didn't do it by the time. No, it's not like that. It's like, we just do better. And I think, especially as women, we do better in groups with each other. Again, I like it to do it yourselves. I am going to create some do it yourself kind of stuff, but I really am looking to work with women because I think that's where my strength is going to lie or to continue to work with women. I've done, like I said, I've done a lot of workshops and we're doing a mastermind right now in Passion and Purpose. but I want to roll it out further outside of people I know and are in my sphere and get it farther out. And you know what? I have to. I just, I don't know how to explain it except that I have to. I have to. I just, it's in me and I have to. I explained to my husband, I'm bursting at the seams. I'm just bursting at the seams. So that's, that is one of the ways you find out your passion. The thing you have, like, I had to do a podcast. I had to do it. I had to write a blog. And so I've got this, this, this next thing and I have to do it. When I feel like going through this process that you're talking about, you probably find with people you work with and for yourself that it's, it starts to bit by bit, completely redefine your entire vision of what success looks like. Oh, a hundred percent. Yes, absolutely. Living. Oh yes. Right. Because you, you, You reach these milestones and you feel good. And you can consider that a success. You can celebrate that you're at that one place. And then it gives you kind of momentum to keep going. And there are so many things we really should consider a success and not... only defined in terms of numbers. And by numbers, I mean numbers of clients, numbers of money, you know, numbers of downloads, numbers of reviews. I mean, you know, yes, there's a little place for that, but I want to keep it little. I don't want to keep it the end all be all. It just isn't for me, for me. Yeah, because sometimes that absolutely The numbers, yes. without those, that those are just an outward sign that they're nice, but not necessary. Right, right, right. Yeah, I would call it maybe the sprinkle. I wouldn't even say it's the frosting. I wouldn't even say it's the frosting. It's maybe a couple decorations on the cake. The sprinkles, I like that. Yeah, the sprinkles, because you don't have to have sprinkles. You've got to have the cake and you've got to have the frosting. Right. You don't have to have the sprinkles. So I do have one more question for you, but before I ask, you that tell everybody where to find you how do people connect with you well you know unabashed you so unabashed unabashed there i mean we we started out calling it unabashed and and we we do we did know at that time we weren't saying it absolutely correctly and i was okay with that artistic license so either one is acceptable and really that's the way to find us everywhere facebook instagram uh we have a lovely updated website i i just I finally had someone update it for me. I had, I was a one woman, everything. And I was like, okay, I'll have someone freshen it up. So unabashed you.com on Instagram, unabashed you Facebook, unabashed you Gmail, unabashed you at gmail.com. I mean, it's just, you know, unabashed you. I love it. I love it. Okay. So my last question for you. Yes. I can't wait. I love it. on your website how you say that you like to talk to and teach extraordinary, but how do you put it? Every day. Extraordinary everyday people. Yes. Here's the thing with that. Okay. I love this question. I love this question because If I really think about who I'm talking to, I'm talking to non-famous, non-celebrity. I don't like the word average because I don't think anybody's average. I don't want to say normal. Right? I don't want to say ordinary. Ordinary. I mean, all those words are awful to me. They are awful. So I finally, like I think it was sometime this year, I went, well, I feel like every conversation I have is extraordinary. And the best I could come up with is everyday people. And I usually say like you and me, because we're not celebrities. We're not famous. Yes. And I think there is so much value in having conversations with other people because I know, I don't just believe this, I know every person has a story and every person has multiple chapters within that story. So I could, one, I could never run out of people. That's for starters. Right, exactly. Secondly, I'm starting now to have certain people back on like, hey, what are you up to now? What's going on? Because it's a different chapter. Nice. It's a different chapter. It's a different conversation. And I can never run out. It's just not possible. And I think it is so... It is so inspiring to me to have conversations with people that don't fit kind of that. They've got a publicist. They've got, you know, somebody else does all their stuff or whatever. No, we're the people out here doing the stuff ourselves. Not that there's anything wrong with having a team, but we are the, what would you call it? Not the bread and butter, but I don't even know. See, that's the thing. That's Right. Right. Right. of this podcast is how to live a passion-filled, joyful life. And what holds people back sometimes is thinking, well, I'm just an ordinary person. That's for special people. That's for super talented people. That's for those people over there. And I'm just a regular person, so I can't do that. I don't even like regular. Yeah, you're extraordinary. Yes, each person is extraordinary. Each person, extraordinary. Yes, I believe that. I absolutely believe that. Even if they don't know they're extraordinary, I believe and know that they are. And I love, love, love that. And I would like to end on that because that's such a beautiful concept to let kind of simmer and say that everybody is extraordinary. Absolutely. it's very complimentary. And I mean, we're, we're speaking into the space, the same sorts of, and they're more than ideas. They are, they are, well, I don't even know if truth's the right word, but they are a way to live that we want people to live by so that they can really capture and choose the best out of this life for themselves. Absolutely. And like you began with, your understanding of these ways of thinking and ways of being came from pain initially. And so did mine. It's very hard things. And so I feel like when you have found ways out or found like you're never finished it's not like there's no pain anymore but when you have relearned different ways to think you just want to go out and share that with other people that's absolutely true and I think I put a quote on maybe it was last week of the week before bitter or better it's your choice I mean you really you can get to the fort and decide oh I'm just going to stay here and think about it and talk about it and be in it and be in it and be in it or Or you can, you know, what did I learn here? And that neither one of those negates the step that you must do, which is being in it. You have to be in it, fully in it. Feel the feels or however you want to look at it. You just can't stay there. It's not healthy to stay there. And in my case, the loss of a son, my son does not want me to stay there. He wants me to continue on with my life and to love and to laugh and to live fully. He wants that for me. He doesn't want me to go to that bitter road and just stay there and wallow missing him. No. And that's that ing. Just remembering that you're an ing. Not here. You're not going there. You're ing. You're ing. I love that. Well, Rochelle, thank you so much for being my guest today. I love talking to you And I love your Instagram. I would encourage everybody to go out and find her website and her Instagram page because she's so inspiring to me. And I know she will be to everybody else. Likewise. Likewise, Laura. Thanks for having me. Thank you. Have a great day, everybody. Thank you for joining me today on the Joy Felicity Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, please like and share and come follow me on all major social media sites at Joy Felicity or on my website, joyfelicity.com. You can follow the link in the description for this episode to all of the places that we can connect. Have a great day, everybody. And remember, dare to dream, plan to play, live to learn.