UNKNOWN: 0:00

Music.

SPEAKER_00: 0:08

Welcome to the Joyful City podcast. I'm your host, Laura Wakefield. And I'm pleased today to have as my guest, Chris Allen. Chris is a self-actualization coach that I actually connected with originally on Instagram. And I was intrigued by him in particular because of the title of his coaching program, Adventure School. And anyone that has followed me for very long knows that I'm a big adventure person. I love to hike and I love to travel and all things to do with adventure. So Of course, that caught my attention. And then I dug in further learning about Chris and was just fascinated by his backstory and by his approach to coaching. So thank you, Chris, for being here today. I'm thrilled to have you. Yeah,

SPEAKER_01: 0:53

I'm so excited to be here too, Laura. This is a great opportunity to connect with like-minded individuals. So thanks

SPEAKER_00: 1:00

for having me. Absolutely. So I want to start with your backstory because I... I speak and write a lot about joy-filled living, but also about overcoming hardships. That's kind of what I mostly teach and talk about. And you have a pretty compelling backstory to what led you into coaching. So would you mind sharing that with everybody?

SPEAKER_01: 1:23

Yeah, I'd love to. I'll try to be brief, but if anyone's interested in the full length story, I can send you to a link for that as well. But essentially, I grew up a pretty normal life. I grew up in Utah, and adventure is kind of part of the culture here. So I grew up in the mountains, biking and hiking and climbing and all those fun things, whitewater kayaking. And that was a part of who I was. And as I grew up and I went off to college and got married and started a family, I Those things kind of get put on the back burner a little bit, but it was always there as part of my identity. However, along this journey of kind of progressing through college and starting a family, when I had just finished college, we moved to Minnesota, and I had one child who was four, and then our second was on the way. I got really sick and that's pretty normal. You know, we all get sick, but I wasn't getting any better. And this went on for several months and my symptoms kept progressing and becoming kind of debilitating. And over a few more months, I started to go to the doctor and I was working at the Mayo Clinic at the time and And so I had access to like the world's best doctors.

SPEAKER_00: 2:57

Yeah, that's convenient.

SPEAKER_01: 2:59

Right. And I was on the employee insurance. So it wasn't, you know, it's just, yeah, let's go see all the world's specialists here and get all this figured out. But specialists after specialists that I saw, no one was able to figure me out. And I'll explain a little bit more about what my illness looked like. But it started as strep throat. And as it progressed, that went away pretty easily. But I started to develop all kinds of fatigue and debilitating chronic pain, neurological issues. I developed a tremor and brain fog, dizziness. I had an intermittent fever, sore throat, swollen lymph nodes, pretty much any symptom you can name. I had nausea, those sorts of things. And it got so bad that I wasn't able to work anymore. So they took me off work, put me on disability. And my days at that point really just consisted of moving from the bed in the morning to the couch and laying on the couch all day, trying to take care of or at least help entertain my two kids. My second child was born at that point. So I had a newborn infant and a two or three-year-old. And my wife through all this was... trying to figure out what to do as far as providing for us what has changed she was planning to go back to law school some of these things

SPEAKER_00: 4:29

well this was unexpected at your age you don't expect to have a debilitating disease in your i'm assuming early 20s

SPEAKER_01: 4:35

yeah yeah i was 25 yeah and i was really healthy you know i was very active and like i said before this was part of my identity to go out and do like even in minnesota i was mountain biking and trail running and and spending a lot of time outdoors but I got sick and I couldn't do anything and nobody knew why. And I remember at one of my lowest points, I was sitting on the back porch and a neighbor who, he was probably about 70 years old and he was being treated for lung cancer at the time. So not in great health, but he was mowing my lawn for me.

SPEAKER_00: 5:16

Oh goodness.

SPEAKER_01: 5:17

And I remember thinking to

SPEAKER_00: 5:21

myself, how did it come to this?

SPEAKER_01: 5:24

I'm a 25 year old and I looked really healthy. I didn't look sick, except I, when I stood up, you could see that I was pretty weak. I failed out of physical therapy three times because they couldn't, they couldn't help me. My heart rate would go too high or I would collapse or, you know, whatever consequences came from forcing me to exercise. But yeah, I was sitting there watching my neighbor mow my lawn and I, I remember just thinking, and I wasn't ever suicidal or anything, but just having the thought that life would be so much better for all these people if I weren't here right now. I'm just a big burden to everybody. And there were moments like that, especially laying in bed in the middle of the night. I only slept one or two hours a night most nights from all the pain and everything, but lots of rough nights. And I am fortunate. because I was sick for about a year and a half. Took about 18 months. And finally, through what I consider miraculous events, I was able to find a treatment and find a diagnosis. So we know kind of what's wrong. We don't know how I got sick or what caused it, but we know that my pituitary glands stopped working. And Mayo had essentially given up on me. They had said, you know, you've got chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia. Learn to live with it. There's nothing we can do

SPEAKER_00: 6:50

to help you. Learn to live with it. Nothing we can do. Oh, that must have felt so discouraging for you. Because if you have an answer, then there's something you can do about it. But just the endless not knowing. You probably even wondered sometimes, is this all in my head? Am I imagining

SPEAKER_01: 7:09

this? All the time I'd go to the cardiologist and he'd say, well, there's nothing wrong with your heart. The neurologist, well, we can't find anything wrong here. And it was just... appointment after appointment of nothing. So when they finally did diagnose me with chronic fatigue syndrome, even though it really is a kind of a wastebasket diagnosis after everything else, we'll give you this label. It was a label and I was happy to have some identity

SPEAKER_00: 7:35

to it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 7:37

That's when I really like I spent all my free time, which I had plenty of, but mostly my free energy, which had very limited energy, mental energy, even. scouring the internet, scouring medical journal articles, trying to understand what could possibly be wrong with me. I was working at the Mayo Clinic. I have a medical background. So yeah, I was just figuring all this out. And like I said, miraculously, another doctor that doesn't work at Mayo contacted me and he wanted to help me, his family friend. So I connected with him and he sent me back to Mayo and to meet with a special endocrinologist and we were able to figure it out.

SPEAKER_00: 8:23

That's wonderful. That's amazing.

SPEAKER_01: 8:25

It is. And, you know, I speak on that sometimes. I speak at different medical schools or to medical students on that concept of trying to listen to the patient and patient advocacy. But I meet a lot of people. All the time that reach out and say, my cousin is going through something sounds similar to yours or my aunt or my grandma or my daughter, whoever it is. But there's so many people out there that are suffering without knowing what's wrong with them. And I am one of the lucky ones that was able to figure it out. And so I feel extra blessed and I feel that there's an extra burden on me to make the most of my life and help other people as a result. I do feel like if I hadn't ever figured this out and I was still sick, I would have found a way to contribute, found a way to make the most of life and not, you know, wallow in misery. You have to, if you're in that state for a long time, but it was a process. And I think that's part of what my, my goal is now is to help people along that process, that journey to figure out, how to find joy in life, even when things aren't ideal. Exactly,

SPEAKER_00: 9:47

because sometimes it's chronic disease, but sometimes it's just life has changed. I always say sometimes life just kicks you in the face in various ways. It can be disease, it can be divorce, it can be loss of some kind, job struggles, all kinds of things. But it does seem like part of the purpose and process of life seems to be to have to kind of go through your trials and your defining moments to discover those things. And I really feel, I don't claim to understand the whole inner workings of the purpose of life. But I feel like this must be important for us because it seems universal.

SPEAKER_01: 10:29

Yeah, for certain, we all are going to face struggles and trials. I like to believe that we don't have to go through crucibles to change, although they are great catalysts for that. And oftentimes, regardless of whether we change or not, we're going to experience them. But the goal of every day, in my perspective, should be how do we learn? How do we grow? How do we contribute? And I like to help people find those opportunities, even on small trials, life-changing events, loss of a loved one, loss of a job, loss of a relationship. Those things certainly trigger introspection and force us into that mode. But we can... dig into that without those.

SPEAKER_00: 11:20

You don't have to be going through devastation to

SPEAKER_01: 11:22

learn

SPEAKER_00: 11:24

lessons.

SPEAKER_01: 11:26

To find that joy in life, you don't have to go through all the pain. It's certainly going to magnify what you feel because I feel like the lower of a low you felt, the higher of a high you can feel. And so if you've been at the bottom of the bottom then when you do turn the corner and you come to the top, you realize how amazing it is. Right now in Utah, we've been buried under snow. I had three feet of snow in my yard last week.

SPEAKER_00: 11:57

I have family out there, and they've been sending me pictures of all the snow. My grandson that's practically buried in the snow.

SPEAKER_01: 12:04

Spring is finally here. I've got flowers in my yard. It's 70 degrees, and it feels so amazing

SPEAKER_00: 12:12

because of

SPEAKER_01: 12:13

the difference, right? Yeah. the comparison, the contrast between the two. And so I feel the same as the joy in our lives. If you do experience those horrific experiences, you can feel incredible joy, even in the small areas of life, but you don't have to go to those lows to feel joy all the time. And one of the ways, and we'll get into this more, but one of the ways that I really feel helps people to tap into this is by comparing challenging themselves with some sort of adventure outdoors, connecting to nature, getting away from the noise of the world and into your own head, really. I

SPEAKER_00: 12:56

absolutely agree with you. There's something about you're facing a challenge, maybe something that has is just out of your comfort zone. And when you do that, it just is very empowering experience. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 13:10

It is so empowering. And the science supports that too. The science shows as we take on some amount of adventure, and that looks different for everybody. For me, that may be climbing to the top of a big mountain by myself, whatever it is. Or for somebody else, that may be going on a walk in a local nature park. And getting out, that may be enough of a change from the normal routine that it's going to allow that access to tap into your own self-reflective state. And that's the beauty of it. Anybody at whatever level can escape the noise of the world and get into nature and experience some sort of adventure or novelty, novel experience.

SPEAKER_00: 14:05

Absolutely. There's something very grounding, I think, about nature, especially for me, water, but the woods as well. I'm a big hiker, so it is. It's just when you stay inside your house all the time, I don't know, there's just something very earthy and grounding about getting out that just reminds you that a lot of the problems that we worry about every day are It don't matter that much that life kind of continues to go on living in spite of all the details that we humans kind of impose on it. You get out in nature and you see all this life around you that isn't beset with all of that. And it's just a good reminder for me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 14:50

Yeah. And it is something that we have to consciously embrace. Yes.

SPEAKER_00: 14:56

I

SPEAKER_01: 14:56

take, sometimes I take my kids out. I have four kids and you can maybe see their picture back here. They're a 17 year old, a 14 year old, a nine year old, an eight year old. And so this age range, you know, the teenagers, especially they're into their screens and their music and I'll take them out on a hike or, you know, go rock climbing or something. And I don't see any, that same connection from them because they're not seeking it. They're not actively looking for it. They're tuned into their, their earbuds or, you know, the text from their friend or something like that. So for, if you want to approach that, you really consciously have to try to disconnect with the world that we live in the busy nine to five and all that and get into nature in a mindful state to where you can, you can really hear your own thoughts.

SPEAKER_00: 15:55

Well, and I think that you're still... What I've learned... So I have nine children. I don't know if you realized that, but my youngest ones are the age of your oldest ones, but I also have kids in their 30s now. And you're having more impact than you may realize. Teenagers kind of have a lot of attitude shell that they put around them a little bit, but... What has surprised me is events where I thought nobody was having fun and everyone was complaining and all of that. But years later, they'll say that was the best day and I loved it. And it has more impact, I think, sometimes than you realize in the moment.

SPEAKER_01: 16:27

Oh,

SPEAKER_00: 16:28

yeah. Drag those kids out there and get them out there because it is shaping their worldview and. things that they will do when they get past all the teenage stuff.

SPEAKER_01: 16:38

Yeah. I fully see that. And they, they don't complain too much, but when we're out there, they like, they love to do all these things are just wrapping up the ski season. They've all been skiing with me all winter, but whether they complain and grumble getting out there, once they're out there, they enjoy it. But what I'm trying to instill is that, like you said, that building that kind of connection to these sorts of activities, because later in life, I know from my own personal experiences that when life gets hard, they're going to turn to that as a respite, as, as a place to seek refuge from all their struggles and it will heal them. I believe that. So, um, I

SPEAKER_00: 17:28

would imagine with coaching clients also that there's some of those things to overcome. Maybe older coaching clients aren't obsessed with their phones, although some of us are, but they have other limiting beliefs that are maybe holding them back from trying those adventures in the first place. How do you help somebody or suggest somebody to kind of get past all the reasons they haven't been doing adventures so far? Maybe they're scared. They don't think they're up to it. They don't have time, all that stuff. Talk to me about that.

SPEAKER_01: 17:57

So I think part of it is building up from the foundation of what they're seeking. And my program has six pillars, and it's really trying to build all these elements that go together to, like you said at the beginning, reach this level of self-transcendence to where we can live beyond our own self and our own egos and our own identities. And so this is one component of it, the getting out into nature, but framing it with these pillars in mind. And the pillars go through having the right mindset, a growth mindset oriented towards improvement, self-growth, and then gratitude and curiosity are a big part of that. So we talked through gratitude and curiosity and so much of that, those two pieces come from connecting with nature. When you can get out and watch the rainbow, after a thunderstorm or even watch the thunderstorm, the lightning and the thunder and hear all that.

SPEAKER_00: 18:54

Amazing.

SPEAKER_01: 18:54

It's awe-inspiring. And if you really focus on it, you're going to feel gratitude. You're going to feel amazed, right? And so cultivating these at the beginning and then building up to what I have one element that I try to get clients to do. They're not all ready for this, but I call it the ordeal element. And it's like 72 hours on your own in nature.

SPEAKER_00: 19:21

That probably does stretch a lot of people. Most of us have never done anything like that.

SPEAKER_01: 19:28

Right. And for some people that is, it's simply renting a cabin in the woods, right. Or, or going to one of these like yurts or it could be fairly civilized, but you're, purposefully spending time in nature by yourself without technology. And all these elements build to that as an end goal. So how do you, you ask the question, how do you get some of these people who may not feel comfortable with that to build up to that? A lot of it is working through all this steps in the, in the program and discussing what their needs are. So they, they self-identify like, this is what I want to accomplish. Right. And, and, And then we can talk through the science of how your brain works and how the elements of the program will all help accomplish whatever those goals are. And nature is going to help. And here's how nature is going to help. So a lot of it's going through the process with them and showing them the science and helping them understand why it's so important. And when you can understand the why, then most people are very motivated to try to unwrap that.

SPEAKER_00: 20:40

you know, in our technology-based life now, there's a little bit of terror around that idea. What do you, 72 hours with no technology? How will I survive? You know, but we lived with that. People my age know that we actually lived without it for a really long time. So you can, but we have become quite addicted to some of those things.

SPEAKER_01: 21:05

Yes, we have. And it, And that's part of the goal of 72 hours is to break that connection there because we don't even realize when we're so engrossed in it that we don't even realize what we're thinking. We don't even realize what we're feeling more importantly. So these emotions that we have, we buffer with all kinds of bad behavior. I'll say it could be shopping. It could be eating. It could be worst things, destructive things like alcohol or drugs or pornography. We all have those things that we turn to when we're stressed, when we're anxious, when we're feeling emotions that we don't like. And most of us, it's turning to our screens and scrolling.

SPEAKER_00: 21:50

We're tapping and swiping kind of just almost mindlessly.

SPEAKER_01: 21:53

Totally mindlessly. And we do that, whether we realize it or not, oftentimes because we... don't want to feel something else. So that may be for a lot of people, it's just boredom. We have this fear of feeling bored or feel a fear of thinking our own thoughts. And so by going in there and when you isolate yourself away from technology and people, it forces you into this. So, you know, you get a lot of preparation beforehand, what you're going to experience. is all these emotions that you have suppressed.

SPEAKER_00: 22:36

You're going

SPEAKER_01: 22:36

to come out and you may cry. You may have these horrible moments, but it's going to be amazing what you discover about yourself and who you are and what matters to

SPEAKER_00: 22:48

you. So I travel a lot and my daughter had been challenging me to do a solo trip. And so a couple of years ago, I did my first solo trip and I went down to... I stayed in a nice hotel by the beach, but I spent a lot of time by the water, similar to what you're talking about. Maybe not quite as adventurous, a little bit more pampering, but I was by myself and I had a lot of that time to sit and think. And I did cry. I cried a lot. It was amazing how much emotion came up just sitting there with my own thoughts and allowing that process to happen was transformative, right? But she told me it would be, I didn't really believe her, but it truly, truly was. So I can definitely say that I agree with everything you're saying. And since that time, I've done some more of these types of trips and plan, you know, I'm single currently, but even if I'm in a relationship at some point in my life, I still want to do that every year, at least for a weekend, go by myself. Because like you're saying, when you're absorbed in somebody else or in your phone or work or life or kids, you don't have the opportunity to connect with your inner thoughts quite in that deep way. And it's not entirely comfortable, but it is truly transformative. It really is. It

SPEAKER_01: 24:11

can be. And so much of our world today revolves around our perceived identity. And so we form these identities of I am this career. I have... These kids, I am a parent and a PTA president or whatever the identity that we take on ourselves becomes so important to us. And when we go out on our own like that, all those things don't matter. When you're by yourself and there's no one to care that you're posting cool pictures on social media, you're not worried about how you appear or how you look or Or even when you're out there in the woods, how you smell, you know?

SPEAKER_00: 24:54

Right, exactly. Your hygiene isn't as critical. Those

SPEAKER_01: 24:59

things all become less relevant and they're still there, but suppressing them allows so many other important things to come up. And one of the most important things we look for is finding your true identity, which isn't the identity you put on for other people to feel fulfilled and to feel needed and to feel Right. Because when there's no one around to fill those needs, it doesn't matter. And so you really find,

SPEAKER_00: 25:29

yeah,

SPEAKER_01: 25:30

there's no feedback. The deer in the woods don't care.

SPEAKER_00: 25:34

They don't care.

SPEAKER_01: 25:36

So really you have an opportunity to find who you really want to be and form more of a life of purpose around that. And a lot of people, I frame it around building a legacy, building a life that, is a legacy for others because that is a good. And when we think of legacy, oftentimes we think of like owning a business or a lot of money and, you know, that's not what I'm getting at here. It's forming a life that matters to other people, a life that is significant beyond yourself. And it's even further than just like, yeah, I, you know, I, I care about other people and I give back to the community. A lot of times we do that out of a place of ego, right? Sorry, ego. And we do it because it's part of our identity. But when we really reach that higher level, it just becomes part of our purpose in everyday living. And we don't really care so much about the feedback or the ego boost from it. It's just part of our joy. And it's amazing to watch how much joy comes from escaping that. And life just becomes such a blissful state when you don't have to weigh yourself down with those burdens.

SPEAKER_00: 26:50

Yes, it just feels like a weight comes off of you. And what do you say to, so you go and you have this transformative 72 hours, but then you have to go back to real life at some point in time. How do you take that with you? Like you've discovered, hey, maybe this aspect of my life isn't really where I want it to be. I'd much rather be focusing on this value system here instead But that's not always easy to when you've gotten really out of sorts in your daily life. So how do you take your transformation and take it back to your real life with you?

SPEAKER_01: 27:30

Yeah, that's a great question. And like I said at the beginning, we can find satisfaction, fulfillment, purpose, joy, all these things in whatever life state we're in. I mean, I think about Viktor Frankl or Nelson Mandela all the time in these instances.

UNKNOWN: 27:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 27:47

Both of them went through horrific things, imprisonment and hard times, but they were able to maintain that positive outlook and find joy. And we see that in their writings. But for us, after you go through this transformation, you're going to view life differently. And the program that I have helps guide people after that. You have like a daily practice where you maintain those feelings of gratitude and awe and you work to build a daily purpose. And sometimes we think about we have to find our life's purpose. And it's this one big grand thing. And I don't do it that way at all.

SPEAKER_00: 28:26

And once we find it, we're done.

SPEAKER_01: 28:27

Yeah, right. I don't do it that way at all. Every moment we need to find purpose in, whether we're working at a job we hate or our relationship is falling apart, you can still, once you've escaped your own kind of ego, you can look at these situations and say, what's the purpose here? How do I give back from a place of abundance and gratitude? And if you can approach life every moment mindfully in that state, which is not easy, and I'm not saying that we're all going to just come back as saints and do this

SPEAKER_00: 29:05

all the time. 72 hours, problems all solved. We're done. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 29:10

But seeing that it's possible opens a new world. And then you can start to build on that muscle. And it really takes a lot of practice, but when you do, it's so much more rewarding than doing it for yourself, for your own good, but looking at it through the lens of how, how a compassionate lens, how can I bring a better world about today in this moment? So, you know, talking to you today for this podcast, that's the mindset I'm trying to maintain is how can I, I'm going to bless and help the audience that's going to listen to this at some point and maybe open a door for them to find this.

SPEAKER_00: 29:51

You know, I think that's so interesting. You say that because sometimes we get very disconnected as we've talked about with our true self and what we want. And we actually don't even feel like we have the right to worry about that because we sometimes think that that's really selfish to do that. But actually I've come to discover in recent years, as I've, the closer I can get to that true inner value system of mine, the more genuine, authentic love and light and help and service that I have to offer. Because when I'm all caught up in things and I'm not grounded myself, I don't have much to give. I really don't. So I really am always trying to preach that, that it's not selfish to work on yourself and to pursue a life of joy for yourself, because that is going to emanate out of you to the world around you and the people around you.

SPEAKER_01: 30:44

It's so true. The trap I see people falling into, if they haven't reached that state of self-awareness and self-actualization, and then they try to go into that state of self-care, it can become very selfish because you're not ready to give. You're living life continually sharpening your own saw and never cutting down any trees. If you want to reference that.

SPEAKER_00: 31:14

I love that. That's a great metaphorical idea.

SPEAKER_01: 31:18

So the goal there is self-care for me is sharpening my saw so that I can go do good, right? Not so yesterday I went on a run, beautiful spring day all by myself. And some people, you know, take that to an extreme and they're always out doing things like that by themselves. Got to take care of myself. This is self-care. I got to have a spa day. And some people are in a place where they need more of that than others. But for me, I have to do that every so often just to maintain that state, right? Sharpen the saw. But now today's a good day that I don't need to go out and spend time by myself. I can spend my time with other people and building other people, my family, my kids, and, you know, all the other people that I'll interact with today. And then when I start to feel doled out a little bit, I'm kind of an introvert. And so I'll, I'm alone and it's not a 72 hour retreat, but it's, you know, maybe an hour, a nature walk around the block if I, if that's all I have time for, but just trying to connect with myself and understand what I'm feeling today and And then I can move back into that state of giving.

SPEAKER_00: 32:36

Well, and you can really feel when that's coming on. You know, you know when it's time to take that little break out. So I have another question for you. But before I do that, before I ask that, tell everybody how they find you. Where can they connect with Chris Allen?

SPEAKER_01: 32:56

Yeah. So I have a website. It's called myadventureschool.com. That's probably the easiest place. You can also connect with me on social media. Instagram is where I spend most of my time. And my handle there is Adventure School, but the L is a number one. So it's Adventure School 1.

SPEAKER_00: 33:17

And I'll put these links in the description too for the video. But definitely, I would encourage people to go out and check out your website. He's got some great courses on there too. If you really want to challenge yourself to some hiking and things, he's got courses of... Tell everybody what your course... I know there's knot tying and...

SPEAKER_01: 33:38

Yeah, yeah. So I've got a lot of content on there around different sorts of adventure activities, rock climbing, canyoneering, mountain biking, skiing, all these things. And then I have some courses based on skills you may need to develop to become proficient in that. So not tying, learning how to navigate with the map, things like this. But those are... So the website has been an evolution over years. And really, I started with just teaching people these outdoor skills. But then I connected this with... I've been coaching for, I think, about 8 years now. But I've connected it with the outdoor adventure part of it just recently within the past year. And so the website still has all this information on it. And it's an evolution. It's all valuable content. So you can use it. But the main piece there, if you're looking for the coaching is you'll find the coaching link there too.

SPEAKER_00: 34:37

Well, and I think that somebody... once they try this, they might just discover that they're hooked and they want to push themselves to the greater challenge. And then they'll need to know how to do the knots and things to do that. So yeah, the courses looked amazing. I have a son who's, well, I have several kids who are very into the outdoors. We used to live in Utah also and near the Wasatch front there. And yeah, One of my sons now lives in New Zealand, but he's very into hiking, outdooring. So he's going to love it. I'm going to send him your website to take a look at because that's just right up his alley there. So my last question for you, I love that you, that you, I forget, I want to read this correctly. Well, just that you're, you're encouraging people to build a life of legacy and How can you, building your life of legacy, you're a father of four, how do you see your journey and your efforts in building that life of legacy and joy? How is it important for your children to see you living like that?

SPEAKER_01: 35:45

I think it really comes down to preparing yourself my children or other people that I work with. I work with a lot of people in volunteer organizations or my career, but primarily the focus is with my children. The legacy there is giving them the skills and tools to live a joyful life and to turn around and give back to the next people that they're going to interact with. So it's a chain effect. And the way that I see that happening is not just by teaching them, but by living that life, you know, every day is a magical moment every day that is filled with gratitude and spontaneity. And yeah, we're going to get a lot of things done too, but we're going to have fun doing it. And it's going

SPEAKER_00: 36:35

to be. I love that in your pillars that you, one of the pillars that you talked about was magic. Yeah. I love that a whole concept. Can you elaborate on that just a little?

SPEAKER_01: 36:45

Yeah. I mean, when I talk about magic, I like to think of Disneyland, you know, it's, It's a magical place for kids. And life should be that way for all of us all the time. And that we see the beauty around us in our relationships, in the small moments. I have a son, my youngest son is eight and he lives this way. He wears his heart on his sleeve and everything is just amazing to him. He's so curious about the world around him. And there's some pictures of him on my Instagram feed. I talk about that. All my kids have their strengths, but this one for him stands out. And I've gathered all these pillars from role models throughout my life. I've read a lot of the scientific literature to put these together from a scientific frame of mind, but also from role models, autobiographies that I've read. But one person in particular is my grandfather. And he really embodied all of these pillars that I talk about. Do

SPEAKER_00: 37:50

you want to name the pillars?

SPEAKER_01: 37:52

Yeah. So let's see if I can remember them off the top of my head.

SPEAKER_00: 37:56

Hang on. I think I have them up right here. It starts

SPEAKER_01: 37:58

with mindset, then meaning, and then we do mindset we talked about. That's building this empowered mindset, how to be... How to control your own thoughts, how to change beliefs that are limiting, but then also to be curious and grateful as a built-in part of your day. Meaning really revolves around identifying your values and purpose and goals and then living in integrity to those. That's a foundation to being able to reach a state where you know what you stand for every day and how to make good decisions. I consider that our map and compass and bearing. the meaning of our life. And I'm not saying we're going to discover the meaning of life, big capital letters.

SPEAKER_00: 38:43

The meaning of my life, my value system. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 38:47

Yes. And that's something that can change over time. So we work that into the model too. Ministry has to do with our relationships. Relationships are huge. We take time away in the program, but we also spend a lot of time looking deeply at relationships and

SPEAKER_00: 39:05

The

SPEAKER_01: 39:06

science right now shows us that you can't have a long, healthy life. Well, I should go back and rephrase that. People, so they've done studies on aging and quality of life towards the end of life. And people who have meaningful relationships are healthier. They live longer. They have fewer health problems. They're happier, right? And relationships are so important to all of us and we take them for granted a lot of the time.

SPEAKER_00: 39:38

Often the ones closest to us.

SPEAKER_01: 39:40

Yes. So relationships is a big part of it. And then along with ministry is stewardship. And that is caring for not just the people, but everything around us, all the things, our bodies, our houses, nature, you know, our communities. And then magic is building in a sense of self in terms of Being able to show up spontaneously and joyfully for anyone around you and not being ashamed of who you are. Some of us are silly and some of us are not. And so you find who you are and you show up that way and it creates magic.

SPEAKER_00: 40:19

With that childlike energy. I love that.

UNKNOWN: 40:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 40:23

Disneyland, you know, you walk around, where else on the planet do you see people walking around with these silly little hats on?

SPEAKER_00: 40:32

You're allowed to just be a kid. But the thing is, you can do that in your own backyard. If you go out in the backyard with a three-year-old, they're looking at the bugs and the blades of grass and everything is amazing to a three-year-old. And truly, it doesn't stop being amazing. We just stop noticing.

SPEAKER_01: 40:54

Stop noticing and we start noticing that other people think we're weird if we're looking at the bugs.

SPEAKER_00: 41:00

Right. What's wrong with them? Yeah. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01: 41:05

Yeah. So that's magic and traditions and things go into that. But the next one is memories. And that certainly builds on the rest of these, the magic. But memories is also about building an adventure and creation experience. and learning into our lives. So maintaining that childlike desire of creating things. I'm gonna go paint a chalk drawing on the sidewalk or whatever that looks like, but we have to consciously build in those opportunities for memory into our lives because that's how we transmit values. That's how we transmit meaning. So when I think, I mentioned my grandfather, when I think about him, I think about all the experiences I had with him, the memories that we built together. And that's how I relate back to what he was all about and what his values were. So

SPEAKER_00: 41:56

legacy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 41:58

Building those opportunities to build memory, taking my kids out rock climbing, even if they may grumble or not pay attention, that memory is, is there. And they're going to look back on that at a later date and build meaning out of it.

SPEAKER_00: 42:12

They will for sure.

SPEAKER_01: 42:14

And then the final one is money. And money is important to this. Not that we have to have money to create a legacy, but you have to have a good relationship with money and understand how money works for you. And so it's talking about money mindset, money relationship, and then money generation so that you can amplify everything good that you're doing.

SPEAKER_00: 42:36

That's a big sticking point for a lot of us. is just all kinds of limiting beliefs about that for sure yeah sure well chris thank you so much for joining me today you have so much knowledge and wisdom to share and i just encourage everybody to go out and check out adventures it's adventureschool.com correct

SPEAKER_01: 42:55

myadventureschool.com

SPEAKER_00: 42:56

myadventureschool.com I appreciate your time today.

SPEAKER_01: 43:01

Thank you so much for having me on, Laura. I will go. I'll send you the links and we can put them in the show notes. And I look forward to hearing from anybody who would like to reach out.

SPEAKER_00: 43:12

Perfect. Thank you for joining us today, everybody. And remember, dare to dream, plan to play and live to learn. Thank you for joining me today on the Joy Felicity Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, please like and share and come follow me on all major social media sites at Joy Felicity or on my website, joyfelicity.com. You can follow the link in the description for this episode to all of the places that we can connect. Have a great day, everybody. And remember, dare to dream, plan to play, live to learn.