Laura Wakefield: 0:00

Welcome to The Joyful icity Podcast. I'm your host, Laura Wakefield. And today I'm thrilled to have Jenny Baird on as my guest. Jenny is an accomplished singer, songwriter, and also a music coach. She teaches piano, guitar, voice, songwriting, recording, all things to do with music. She's been doing that a long time and her latest passion is something that she calls neuro magic coaching, and I had the privilege of actually going through a session of coaching with Jenny and it was so transformative to me that I immediately on the spot after asked her if she'd be willing to come on and be a guest on my show and she said yes, so I am thrilled to have Jenny here with us today. Welcome, Jenny.

Jenny Baird: 0:55

Hi, thank you so much, Laura.

Laura Wakefield: 0:57

How are you doing today?

Jenny Baird: 0:58

I'm doing great. Loving some nice weather. Springtime makes me happy. So what is NeuroMagic Coaching? It sounds really exciting. It's a really fun title. What is it? Tell everybody what that means. Yeah, so neuromagic is just sort of the title I put on what I do. What I do is that I'm certified in coaching the unconscious mind. I call it neuromagic because it's really just practical neuroscience. But as you experience, it feels like magic. How can you change so quickly and how can you feel so different? in a holistic way and so basically neuromagic coaching is just coaching the unconscious mind and getting into our unconscious things that drive our thoughts and our feelings and changing those things rather than just working with our conscious thoughts which can have a great effect traditional coaching is mostly coaching the conscious mind the conscious thoughts um but you know getting where the unconscious mind is is the magic so Well, yeah, because I think when we think of coaching, we think this has got to be really hard. Like we've got to go through endless sessions, unpacking this and that. And it just seems like kind of a struggle because people struggle on their own to solve these problems. They assume that it's going to be a struggle in coaching as well. But I love on your website, one of the first questions under the coaching page is, what if this could be easy? And that, of course, appeals to me and probably most people. So tell me, how is that, that this technique makes it easy rather than kind of a trial or a struggle? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So the technique that I use, so I'm trained by Melissa Teers and Simone. So Melissa Teers is a premier hypnotist in New York City. She's been in the field for 30 years. And so what they have found scientifically researched over the last 30 years is how we actually get into the brain and change. Well, it really has to do with memory reconsolidation. So the way that we used to think memory worked is that your brain takes a snapshot and then you have that as a memory. Well, now we know that memories are actually valuable. So whenever you pull up a memory, it becomes active again. And anything that is in your environment can get added to that memory and then it gets refiled. And so your memories are changing all the time. Every time you bring up a memory, there's information added to it from your environment. Well, I would imagine not always accurate information too. Is that correct? Exactly. And so, you know, there have been questions even with lawsuits and things is how much can we rely on human memory to because memory we now know is malleable. And so what the, what the coaching that I do does is it uses memory reconsolidation to intentionally change that memory the way you want it to be changed. Now that sounds a little weird, right? That sounds like, well, is that, isn't that not true to like change your memory? Doesn't that make it like, that was what I thought when I first. Yeah. That's my first impression of that idea is that, well, shouldn't we be keeping things real like that sounds like and you know manipulating the truth so right but here's here's the interesting thing is is what what it actually is is let's say that i have social anxiety and anytime i walk into a room i want to crawl into a hole i'm actually talking about myself here a room full of people that i don't know i want to crawl into a hole well somewhere along the way I walked into a room full of people and I had a bad experience and my brain associated that experience with a room full of people. Now, is there a reality that I'm not safe when I walk into a room full of people? No, that's my brain's perception. So what I can do with memory reconsolidation and with neuro magic coaching is say, hey, let's bring that memory up again. That one time where the last time you experienced that social anxiety, let's bring that up. And you feel that feeling that you have when you walk into the room, that like sinking in your chest where you want to crawl into a hole. Okay, just shake off that feeling. And how do you want to feel instead, right? I want to feel confident when I walk into a room and like I could talk to anyone at any time, anywhere. And what I can do is I can go, oh, this is how it feels when I'm confident. And then literally what's happening on a neuroscience level is we now are attaching that confidence to the trigger of walking into a room full of people. And it's so like, sounds so simple and so weird, but this is actually how our brains work scientifically. And that's what I help people to do with coaching the unconscious mind. And you, you know, you experienced it. It's a wild process. You're like, how is this working? It really is. And I think what I'm thinking when I'm hearing that is that, you know, when I want to challenge it and say we're trying to substitute with something that isn't true, I think in actuality, the things we're experiencing aren't always true either. Like you said, you walk into a room, you feel unsafe. That doesn't necessarily mean that you are unsafe. Right. And it's all this stuff to the situation. Yeah, and a lot of it is about nervous system regulation as well, right? When I walk into that room and I feel like I want to crawl into a hole, it's because my nervous system is saying, hey, there's a threat. There's all these people that you don't know. And somebody, in my case, somebody might reject you. So you should crawl into a hole now so that you don't experience that. And what I have been able to do for myself and for others around social anxiety and other things, but social anxiety is the example, right? Is able to say, wait, here's how we regulate our nervous system so that we can look at an environment that our brain is saying, this is dangerous. And we can go, let's calm our nervous system down so that it's out of threat and devote. And then we get to decide how we want to respond. We don't have to do our brains default because our brain is a habit making machine. That's part of this process of unconscious coaching. Everything we think, feel or do on a repeated basis becomes a habit in our brains. So like to your point, like, well, isn't that circumventing the truth? Well, really, your responses are just a habit that your brain has created. This is the way I respond to this trigger all the time, period. And so in some ways, it's all made up. Yeah, it's we're bringing so much nonsense and garbage and past stuff to a situation that we maybe can't even see it clearly. So we form a memory based on an assumption, really, rather than the actual facts. And right. And like, sometimes that's good. Sometimes you're like, I almost got hit by a car when I didn't look both ways when I crossed the street. You want that habit in your brain, right? And there are other habits in your brain that are not useful to you anymore. And that's what I do as a coach. We look at your brain's habits and we go, okay, well, that is not the way I want to interact with that. You know, when I see my kid doing something or my significant other doing something and I fly off into a rage, That's not really a habit that I like. It doesn't serve me. It's not useful. So what we do is we go into your memories, into your brain, and we go, this is the way I feel when this happens. This is just my brain's habituated pattern in this situation. And then we shake that off. That's not what we want to do anymore. And we decide how we want to respond instead. And we use nervous system regulation techniques. which are, I'll show you some later, but they're so simple, but they, what they do is, is they just dissociate just a little bit from this really strong in your perception, negative emotion in my perception, negative emotion. And then they create space for you to go. I think I can have a different choice here. I think I can have a different reaction. So like a do over of a past experience, but with more maturity or. Yeah. And so as you start to like, really imagine and feel what it feels like to respond differently on a synaptic level we're like we're disconnecting your brain's response to a trigger and reconnecting it to another trigger to another actual actual neurological changes that take place in the brain when you do Yes.

Laura Wakefield: 10:07

So I'm not super scientific, right? But I know the like, I know the lay person terms, right? And so like, what's basically happening is when I talked about that memory reconsolidation, you're pulling up that memory, you're lighting up the neural network where that negative reaction is. And then you're shaking it off, you're doing a little bit of emotional dissociation from that particular trigger. And that stays lit up. And then you're lighting up what it would like the neural network that it would feel like of like, what does it feel like when I'm confident? Or what does it feel like when they respond peacefully instead of with rage? Man, it just feels easy and good. And like, I can totally imagine myself like responding that way. And I want to be that person. And as you're associated into these feelings of who you want to be, then you're just now picture that same situation, but you feel this way. And it's so wild to me that this is how it works, but this is how it works. Yes. And, and I found that to be true when I went through that session with you that I would have thought maybe that recalling some of these things, and we're not necessarily talking about severe traumas, you know, that may require more intense therapy, but, but some of just the little habit patterns and the little things that we throw at ourselves, you're not good enough. Right. People don't like you, you know, those kinds of things, but they can be so destructive. Oh my gosh. Yes. Just incredibly destructive because they'll, they'll hold you back from really reaching for your potential because you're making an assumption in advance that you can't do that. Right. And yes. And what's so interesting to me is, um, and everything we've talked about so far has been very neuroscience, practical neuroscience, you know, um, But what's so interesting to me is that each of our unconscious minds and our bodies have so much wisdom in them. We already know who we want to be. We already know how we want to feel. We already know how we want to react. And we just maybe don't know how to execute that, right? And so what's beautiful about coaching the unconscious mind is that I get to hold space and create space for people and for myself. I use these tools on myself. I get to hold space and create space for people to kind of shed some of these ideas that we've always been given about what it means to change or that we need an external authority to tell us what to do different. What I love about what I get to do is I follow my clients, right? Whoever's sitting in my coaching space, I'm just helping them reconnect to the wisdom that's already inside of them. I don't have to feed them how they should feel. It's about how they want to feel and creating this space for them to reconnect to their own wisdom and move forward in their life from their own authority. It's not my authority. I just know how to help you use the tools to reconnect to your wisdom and your authority and and create space for you to make different decisions. And I think that's what's so exciting to me. Well, yeah. And I think that we do know on a deep soul level, sometimes we're running a little bit from that. And what I mean by that is I have found in myself that some of my deepest fears, I will actually deny that I have it because I'm not, it seems really scary. Like, okay, if I open up that little box and, in my brain or admit to myself that I'm afraid of that, then I have a responsibility to do something about it. So sometimes I'm actually, I'm fine. I don't even want that. I don't even need that, you know? And how do you help someone discover that wisdom when even they themselves aren't maybe even aware that they have it? Right. Yes. This is a great question, right? Because when you hear something like I follow my client, you're like, so what? You're not allowed to offer advice anymore, right? Which, you know, As I listen to people talk, I'm always scanning against the backdrop of my own experience, right? And as a coach who's committed to following my client and giving them the change they want, not the change that I think they need, right? That doesn't mean that I am hands off, right? If I hear something, this is one of the brilliant things I found when I was coached one-on-one, my first one-on-one coach, right? he was brilliant at listening to me and going, this is what's happening underneath that. And I was like, you're a mind reader. Right. And so it's like, now as a coach, now I can understand like, Oh, he just had the same experiences and he was, was, went through the same processes already. So I still will bring in, you know, Hey, when you said this, it reminded me this story from my own life. Like, but, but I'm doing it in a way that's not like, Hey, you should do this. It's more like, Hey, there might be some treasure here for you to dig around and find. So let me offer you my story. Let me offer you what I hear might be going on and you can feedback and you can tell me, does that land with you? Does it not land with you? And so, you know, there are definitely times where I have a hit of intuition and I'm like, I'm just going to say this to you and we'll just see what, see if it's accurate. And sometimes people are like, are you a psychic? Seriously, though, but I think you are very intuitive. I will say that having gone through a session of coaching with you. That's cool. Everybody's listening. Jenny has a very nurturing energy about her. That makes you feel like you're in a very safe space and able to open up even in ways that I didn't know what was going to happen when I entered that coaching session with you, Jenny. I had no expectations. And yet somehow you managed in just a few minutes to get right to the heart of my deepest fear. I was like, what is happening right now? But yet I didn't feel afraid to share that with you. And that's super significant because that was a big point of fear for me. So you would think that a lot of fear would have come up, but you have a way of creating a very safe, nurturing space as those things come up. And I've heard much about you. Yeah. Thank you so much. That's such good feedback. I love, I love to hear that. That's my goal. So, yay. So one of the things you did with me and, and I can't remember exactly how we did it, but we created a, Kind of of the ball. Can you recall what we were doing? Yes. So was it, there's a thing called the metaphoric two-step. Maybe this might be it. Let me see if it is. What happens is when you're feeling something in your body and emotion shows up in your body and you may be like, you feel tense and like your shoulders are squeezing in or you feel like there's a heavy weight on you or something like this. This is an unconscious mind trick because everything our brains do is a projection. And we have so much control over what's happening in our brains. Like we don't even know, right? Like our brain is creating space and colors and volumes internally. And we don't even recognize it, which we can just keep going on forever. Right. Exactly. Yeah. I'll write it in. So, but one of the things that I've done probably did with you and I do with a lot of my clients, especially singing clients is I, people will often say, I just feel like there's something blocking my throat or I feel like there's this ball of like 10 chicken in my chest. And one of the things that we do, and I love it because I'm an imaginative person is we say, you know what, let's imagine you can hold that, that ball. Now imagine as you're holding that ball, you can bring it out in front of you and look at it. And what does that look like? Right. And I'm not, I can't remember what you said it looked like, but let's just say, so you, maybe you say, you know, well, it looks like this dark, gray, you know, smoky thing. And it's obviously a negative thing. You know, that's why we're pulling it out to work on it. And then I basically asked the question, what would have to happen to that thing for it to change? And your unconscious mind will very easily provide you with an answer. And it might not make sense, right? You know, I think, I think someone, you know, in this scenario, people have said really things that make sense. Like, well, light needs to come and shine through it and dispel it. Okay. Imagine that happening. But some people are like, it needs to be sent love and light. And you're like, okay, great. Send it love and light. What happens to that? And so this is just a way to interact with your unconscious mind and let all the weird stuff inside of you lead and And it changes things in insane ways. I do this for myself. I'm like, I feel something in my body. It's weird. I'm going to pull it out and imagine it. And like, and it just like, you just, you feel a release of tension. You feel a release of anxiety. You feel whatever is happening when you allow your unconscious mind to lead and you tap into the wisdom of your body, no matter how weird it sounds to your logical brain. Right. The changes. It's unbelievable. It's really fun. That was so powerful to me because I think once I pulled it out, I think you had me name it also and say, what would you, what is it? You know? And, and so I named my, my ball of chaos.

Jenny Baird: 20:00

Okay.

Laura Wakefield: 20:02

Then I did, again, I don't know if this was part of the same exercise, but you had me, it sort of dissipated and you had me find a mantra to say to myself whenever that would come up. And I did that. And what happened when I was doing that with Jenny, I thought I was feeling perfectly ordinary. And when I named it and said my mantra, all this emotion came up that I was not expecting. And all of a sudden I was like, oh my goodness. But it wasn't scary emotion. It was like this very warm, loving emotion that said you're safe. Oh, so good. You know, and so I have been doing that ever since our session. When I start feeling some anxiety about certain things come up, I'll just put my hand on my heart and I'll say I am safe. And like you said, there's now there's now this connection to that experience. I'll have an immediate. Physical change, mental change, but it's a physical change. The calm will come just from sort of repeating that pathway that we created. And it's so powerful. It truly is. And it was easy. Like you said, not that all things to do with this would be easy in that facet, but some of it really is. Some of it is right. There is that quantum, they call it my, you know, my coaches always call it quantum leap, miraculous change. And that does happen. And there are things that do take time. You still, we still use the tools on the things that take time, but what's cool to me is even in myself, noticing the things that take time, choosing the new path is so much easier because Like choosing the new incremental step is so much easier. Before it was like, okay, I have to think about the thought that I'm thinking and I have to decide to change it. But the change doesn't feel real. I just feel like I'm saying something that's not true, right? Like when you try to change, just change your thoughts, it can feel like you're slogging through things. mud to do that because it's not hitting that unconscious level. It's not fully integrated, right? So my certification is an integrative life coaching, right? So we're integrating both the conscious and the unconscious mind so that you're feeling that change on, I like to say on a body level, like you feel it in your body. Well, and I think it's, it's easy to have sort of like an experience while you're with your coach and then You end the session, but then a real world experience comes up that challenges this. And you can like run back to your habits, run back to what you're used to. And it can feel like, ah, it didn't do any good. What do you say to that? Yeah, you know, so here's the thing. This is the way we talk about these issues that we deal with. Social anxiety, fear of public speaking, whatever it is, like the way you respond to a significant other, the habit that you have with drinking that drink over and over again that you wish you could break. What, what we talk about as unconscious mind coaches is that like some of these issues feel like a big table top and they, they like, that's the metaphor. It's a table top. And there's different triggers in your life that triggered this habit in your brain, this pattern in your brain to activate. Right. And so what we do in coaching the unconscious mind is we go after the individual triggers, right? So for my social anxiety, the one trigger is walking into a room of people I don't know. So when we change the neural pathway of that trigger, that particular trigger has been changed. And that change of that neural network does affect the rest. It weakens the effect of the rest. But if I don't specifically deal with every trigger, the tabletop doesn't collapse, right? And so even in my own life, I've noticed as I've gotten coached, I'm like, I got coached on that trigger, but this is a new trigger that I didn't expect. And now I still feel the same way, right? I have this fear again, but what's cool is it's the same process for every trigger. And so as you know, once you've received coaching, you can, you will have new tools to start to, okay, let's regulate my nervous system. How do I want to feel instead? And if I were to feel that, you know, so it's, you will have other triggers. Like we said, sometimes things just happen immediately. And sometimes there's a lot more triggers. You have to work with each one. But it's, it's really cool because every, every time you do it, you're strengthening the change. for the other parts of the neural network as well it's not just the one so anyways sometimes i don't know how clear it is when i say neural network but does that make sense to you yes absolutely and i feel like too that just like anything else it takes practice so once we sort of start to address this we might have to we might have to test it yes And it might take a few times before we feel super proficient at it. Yes. You know, but I think that the more you do that, the less fear you're going to have about jumping into maybe the next thing. Absolutely. Absolutely. And one of the important things too is, and I can share, you know, I can share something with our audience if you want, but there are really simple physical tools to downregulate your nervous system. So when you have that anxiety, there's simple ways to knock it down a few notches or a lot of notches or to zero so that you can make a different decision, right? And even that, With different things in your life, that'll be different. For me, relational conflict is so difficult. And I'm still learning how to fully downregulate my nervous system and choose a different way of operating. There's a level to which I'm like, yeah, I'm not freaking out nearly as much as I used to. And I'm still a little bit like, right? I think that that idea of how to stay calm. Yeah. it will affect every aspect of your life. You're not in a relationship going to shoot that quite so quickly with a response. You're going to calmly think about it. In a room full of crowded people, you're not going to jump so quick. You know, staying calm is really the key to almost everything. So can you share maybe one or two simple things that somebody can do right now today to help them to do that, to reach that calm space quickly? Yes, I'll definitely share two, two, at least two things that are very quick. So the first one, especially since we're on audio, not necessarily, I actually do video. Yeah, it's on video too. Okay, great. So we'll do the video stuff too. So, but if you're just listening, here's a really good, really great thing you can do. You can take a deep breath in and then you can breathe out for twice as long. Then when you breathe out for twice as long, what that does is, is that activates your vagus nerve and that triggers your nervous system that, hey, there's no threat. We're not panting here. We're not assessing a threat. So if you can take a couple of deep breaths in and then breathe out for twice as long, that's going to immediately start to make a difference. And I can already feel myself like slowing my speech because I'm feeling the difference, right? So you're speaking directly to your physical body. Oh, yes. And the way that it's trained to take in information. Absolutely. Absolutely. And then the other thing you can do is if you, you can, you can do this with something in your hand. or you can you can just kind of do it without um what you're gonna do is you're gonna hold something in your hand kind of in the middle of your body right in front of you sure yep and you're gonna start passing it back and forth between your hands and you're just gonna like let your arms really swing out to the side as you pass this anyone can and you can probably hear my hands swishing a little bit as they meet in the middle So you don't need to hold something if you don't have anything handy close by. You do not have to. I do this all the time with or without something in my hand. But what this does is anxiety typically lives on one side of your brain or any negative emotion that you have. And this is what we call bilateral stimulation. And by moving both sides of your body, swinging your arms across the midline of your body, this activates both sides of your brain. And essentially gets the blood flowing and dislodges that heavy or, you know, activated emotion. And again, my brain, after 10 seconds of doing this, I'm like starting to lose my words because my nervous system is down regulating. So it's redirecting your energy, your physical and mental energy towards something else. Yes. And this is what I was talking about earlier. This is what gives you the emotional distance. and make a different decision, right? As you have a little more calm and a little more clarity, you're no longer spinning thoughts with that anxiety or with that rage or whatever emotion it is. And so this is what it's about. It's about giving us distance and autonomy to make different decisions. And I'm just obsessed with that. So if you're about to walk into, say, a room, if public speaking is your fear, and you're about to have to get up on stage and do some public speaking, you could just run real quickly somewhere quiet and do these two things and sort of just center yourself before getting up. Absolutely. Absolutely. I love that. I love that. Because it is so effective. It is. It truly is. I used to do theater, and It was sort of a similar process that I was doing, I guess. I would sort of just like go back and forth from one foot to the other. It's getting back into your body and out of your head, basically, because our head is going everywhere at once when we're nervous and afraid. Absolutely. So it's hard to remember. There's not an actual threat here. It's okay. Yes. And what's so interesting, I feel like something popped into my head as you said that when we are spinning in anxious thoughts. Doomsday scenarios. What if I mess up? That's actually neurologically, that is actually a hypnotic state because we are thinking the same thought over and over and we are creating this emotional state. And what would I do? And what we do with coaching the unconscious mind is we just do a different hypnotic state intentionally, right? Like, If I was confident, I would feel this way. Oh my gosh, that would be amazing. Can you imagine if you felt this way instead? It's exactly the same process that we're already doing. We're just choosing differently than the habituated pattern that we've always had. I love, love, love that. Because we all have something, you know, and it's different for everybody. It can be things like fear of public speaking and social anxiety, but it can also be You know, maybe we've experienced loss and we become afraid of, you know, or somebody rejected us at some point in time. So we become convinced that we will always be rejected and that we're not good enough. And there's so many different ways that our brains can get in there and start directing our lives for us, but not from a place of truth, from a place of fear. Yeah. And yeah, if I could just share a quick story. Absolutely. One of the things I got coached on during the course of my certification, because I'm newly certified. It was the last three months that I was getting certified. I got coached a ton because we all practiced on each other all the time. And one of the things I got coached on was interacting with dating apps. Which is something I'm doing currently in my life. I hated it. And I was like, I really want to meet someone though. So I want to feel differently about interacting with these dating apps. Right. And so as I started getting coached on it, I, you know, when was the last time I did this? Well, this is how I felt about it. I felt like, Oh, it's so much work trying to like talk about who I am and the profile and it's the same way. And it's just, I feel dread. Right. So cringe. I know. Right. So as I got coached on that, I started to feel like I can totally do this. Who cares? I'll just say whatever. It doesn't even matter. The right person's going to find me at the right time. So I felt good about creating a profile. The next thing I felt, the next table leg trigger that came up was like, oh, when I message people, it's like hard to like weed through the people. Or when I, when I look at the people, it's hard to weed through and pick. And I feel like it's such a big deal. And, and I got coached on that. And like, we did this whole process of like, how do I want to feel instead? Well, I'm just going to be able to trust my instincts and whoever I, you know, hit like on is going to be, It's trusting my instincts, right? And then I was like, when I message people, it just feels like so much pressure and so much, it's so hard to express myself in writing. And it was so funny because one of the coaches, she did something brilliant because she asked me, how do you want to feel instead? And I was like, I just want to feel like it's not a big deal. Like it's everything is adventurous and great and blah, blah, blah. And she goes, when was the last time you went on an adventure? And I was just picturing getting ready to go on this road trip to Montana and Wyoming. I'm in Ohio. So it's far out West for me, those places. And I just was realizing, she's like, how do you feel when you're getting ready to go on a road trip? And I was just like, I just feel like it's where I belong. And it's like so good. And, and it just struck me when I said that I was like, I'm assuming that I don't belong. when I'm on a dating app and in the message when I'm messaging people, I'm fighting for my belonging. And and I was like, I literally started crying about using a dating app. Oh, no, I absolutely hear you on this one. This is these are real feelings that so many of us that are single feel about this whole dating process. Yes. And it was amazing because suddenly. You know how in coaching we talk about, oh, you're going to find your limiting beliefs. Well, this work, as I have engaged this work of coaching the unconscious mind and being coached in my unconscious mind, I don't even have to look for limiting beliefs because all of a sudden they're just there. When I'm in this state of who I want to be, which is getting ready to go on a road trip, on an adventure where I belong, suddenly I have this realization, oh my gosh, I'm believing that I don't belong. I don't know if I could have gotten to that thought in 10 coaching sessions about online dating. If I like, you know what I mean? I do. Yeah. Yeah. And so it was just incredible to me that like, as I'm interacting with the parts of me that are not seen by the reasonable, logical brain, I'm suddenly getting so much deeper truths than I would if I had gone digging and digging and digging through my conscious thoughts. And so I, And it was really cool because like the next couple of days I was like, maybe I'll make a profile. And my brain was like, we're supposed to have dread right now. But I was like, but I can't find the dread because I like changed the neural pathway. And it's like that my brain was going, isn't this our correct response? And the rest of me was like, well, no, that's not how we feel now. And it wasn't me consciously going, I don't feel dread anymore. It was just the reality now. And so that's a rather innocuous example, right? And like we said, some things take more time, but just to see the sense of like control that I have to be able to regulate and to be able to change my emotional state more quickly and suffer less, I get to suffer less and Oh my gosh, makes me want to cuss it so good. And what I love about that, Jenny, is that I think sometimes people aren't sure if they should reach out to a coach because they're thinking, well, I don't have any like real problems. I just have these sort of dumb problems, like I'm scared to set up my dating profile. But you know, the truth is, that's not a dumb problem. That's not a small problem, because you want a relationship. And so finding that is actually really important to you. And so I love that you gave that example, because it just shows what a difference that tackling something that you may not have even maybe recognized as a serious enough problem to call a coach. But if it's impacting you and your confidence and the way that you're behaving and putting yourself out there in the world in these areas, it's absolutely coachable. Yeah. And these are the perfect kinds of things for coaching, actually, because they can make a very concrete, tangible difference in your life today, right now, this minute. And dating is... It's a big one. It's a really big one. Most of us feel a little bit. I always like to say that I feel kind of deer in the headlights. You know, I was married for most of my life and kind of get tossed back into the dating world in my 50s. And you're like, what is happening? Like it's changed. And I feel like a fish out of water sometimes. But that really is an important thing.

Speaker 02: 38:02

Yes.

Laura Wakefield: 38:04

The more smaller details of our lives can make a big difference. yeah time we have because I wanted to ask you oh we're we're good I um well first before I ask you the last question and I'll have you on I'd like to have you on again if you wouldn't mind in the future to talk about your music because I have one of Jenny's songs Austin um on her website and I'll tell you what I had all the feels listening to you It's fantastic. So I'm going to link to all of Jenny's places in the bio for this episode, but go listen to her music too. And hopefully she'll come back on another time to talk to me more about that. But before I ask you the final question, tell everybody where they can find you. How do we find Jenny Baird? Absolutely. So I have a website. It's just JennyBaird.com. J-E-N-N-Y-B-A-I-R-D.com. And on social media, I mostly use Instagram and Facebook. I am Jenny Baird Music. That's, you know, still have that handle from my musician only days. So yeah, I would love, love to connect on social media, on my website. So that's where you can find me. I'm always there. Awesome. And like I said, I will put the links to all of her places in the description. That's great. So as you know, Jenny, this podcast is primarily focused around living a joy filled life. And of course, all this goes along really well with that. But that's my final question for you is how does neuromagic coaching and just that way of thinking in general, help somebody to who's trying to live their life with a little bit more joy? Absolutely. And I think the answer is definitely kind of what we've been saying, right? This work and these tools that are essentially able to be used yourself, you know, you using these tools gives you that ability to recognize, man, I don't like the way I'm feeling right now. I don't like the way I'm interacting and change is possible and this is how i can regulate my nervous system and choose differently right and so there's obviously spectrums and levels right there's some things you don't want to just change immediately grief is not something that you want to just bypass right right we're not supposed to blow through all of that right so it's not about bypassing those emotions but getting enough getting enough distance from them that we can be curious recognize how they're serving us recognize how they're not serving us and then tap into a different emotional state. I love, love, love that. Jenny, thank you so much for being a guest on the show today. And everybody go check out JennyBaird.com and Jenny Baird Music on Facebook and Instagram. Have a great

Speaker 02: 41:04

day,

Laura Wakefield: 41:04

everybody. Thank you for joining me today on the Joy Felicity Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, please like and share and come follow me on all major social media sites at Joy Felicity or on my website, joyfelicity.com. You can follow the link in the description for this episode to all of the places that we can connect. Have a great day, everybody. And remember, dare to dream, plan to play, live to learn.