Trying to Wear Too Many Pairs of Pants

FOMO - fear of missing out. We've all felt it before, haven't we?  Or known someone who has? I think it's one of the leading causes of the discontent that's holding us back, individually and as a society, from experiencing much of the joy that life has to offer. 

Transcript

Laura Wakefield: 0:00

FOMO, fear of missing out. We've all felt it before, haven't we? Or known someone who has. I think it's one of the leading causes of the discontent that's holding us individually and as a society back from experiencing a lot of the joy that life has to offer. Welcome to The Joy fulicity Podcast. I'm your host, Laura Wakefield.

Laura Wakefield: 0:32

Okay, listen up, because I'm about to say something unpopular. As much as society and social media wants you to believe that you can, guess what? You can't have it all. You just can't. There simply isn't enough time or energy in the world to accommodate all of the possibilities. I'm not saying that you can't have anything or even that you can't have a lot of good things, but you can't have everything and you shouldn't even try to have or be or do or learn or own too many things at once. Why not, right? We live in a time of great opportunity. We have more personal freedom than ever before in history to design the lives best suited to us. We're reminded all the time that we can be who we want to be, love who we want to love, and think how we want to think. That's wonderful, isn't it? Of course! The television set is also constantly bombarding us with images of the myriad of choices we have in what to buy, how to dress, what jobs we should pursue, and the thousand places we must travel to before we die. Social media gives us an inside look at the lives of everyone we know, and even everyone we only met once casually and never talked to again in person. We see the projects they're doing, the accomplishments of their children, the trip they just took, the wonderful meal they ate for lunch, and all the cool activities they did this past weekend. We hear about their career promotions, their fancy new cars, the long nap they took, the house they just bought, and the puppy they recently adopted that looks so dang adorable. Reality programs even make us feel like we're living side by side with celebrities, are premier chefs, or can remodel a whole house in 30 minutes or less. We love feeling that powerful, even though we surely know it's mostly made up and not really reality at all. Or do we know that? Technology allows us to know about things happening in the remotest parts of the planet and introduces us to far more information than we can possibly absorb, and yet we clamor for more. We have access, at least virtually, to pretty much everything life has to offer, but in so many ways, we seem to feel less satisfied than ever before. How can that be? Shouldn't having more opportunities laid out before us mean that we lead an even richer, fuller life? Well, in theory, yes, except that we tend to forget that even with so many options at our disposal, we do still have to choose between them. When we're exposed to such a vast array of wonderful things, we naturally want them. All of them. And this can be a negative thing when it causes us to wallow in jealousy or self-pity or feelings of being less than by comparison to other people. It can be a positive thing when it inspires us to reach higher or further or shows us ideas we might otherwise never have considered.

Laura Wakefield: 3:55

The hard truth is, though, that every time we make a choice, no matter how big or small, it necessarily eliminates many other choices, at least for that moment in time. If you decide to have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch, you can't also have every other kind of sandwich that same day. Your belly couldn't hold it all. And how silly would it be to resent not having the tuna fish or the turkey, rather than simply enjoy the peanut butter you picked out first? I mean, you chose it because you liked it, right? We've been conditioned as a society, however, to believe that not only can we have all things, but that we should have them and even deserve to have them all right now. So rather than rejoice that we had the rights and abilities to choose option A, we fret that we don't also have B and C simultaneously. We try to run even faster to make sure we won't miss out on D and E. Meanwhile, option A is often getting totally lost in the effort. In our exhaustion and discontentedness, we can't fully experience and embrace the good things that we do have. Even when we know that we are enormously blessed, we can still feel depressed if we witness someone on Facebook basking in a different set of blessings. We're always on the lookout for something new and better. And I don't just mean stuff either. We do this with experiences, belief systems, jobs, and even with our relationships. There is no end to this. If we somehow managed to accumulate and juggle options A, B, C, D, and E, there would still be options F and G to reach for, even when our hands are already full.

Laura Wakefield: 5:56

I walked into my closet this morning, and I put on my current favorite pair of pants. They're a soft, comfortable, bright orange, fun pair of jeans, and I feel fantastic in these, and they fit me really well. But, I mean, I also really like my yoga pants and my gray work slacks. What if I decided to wear those over the top of my jeans so that I could experience all three of them at once? For that matter, what if I decided to put on all of my pairs of pants today? I like all of them for different reasons and I don't really want to have to choose just one. Some of the pants in my closet are a little bit too tight, because I've outgrown them. But I did love them once upon a time, and I'm not ready to give them up just yet. In case I lose a few pounds. I mean, hey, it can happen, right? Some of the pants in my closet are a little bit too big. Some were gifts I never would have picked for myself, but I probably ought to use them so I don't hurt the giver's feelings. Some are trendy, and I'll wear them because it's the fashionable thing to do, even though I may not personally think that they're attractive. Some have sentimental value, hearkening back to another place and time in my life. I don't really need them anymore. I should probably donate them to another person who they would work better for now, but what the heck, I'll just throw all those pairs of pants on too. And on my friend's Instagram, I saw the cutest new shorts that she just bought at the mall. So I think I'll go over and get those and put them on over the top of all of these others. And while I'm over there, I want to put on every pair of pants in every single store just in case. You never know what the day could bring and I want to be prepared. Now that would be ridiculous, right? I'm going to be far more comfortable. just wearing the one pair of orange jeans that I started out with. I wouldn't be able to walk or even breathe if I tried to wear all the pants in the area, and why would I even need to or want to when my original pair is my favorite anyway?

Laura Wakefield: 8:21

Now, of course, I can always wear a different pair tomorrow. I get to choose whether to wear my few trusted pairs often or go for variety and change it up every day. I also get to decide if I wear wild prints or classic styles, if I want bootcut or skinny or wool or spandex. I could theoretically wear hundreds of different pairs of pants in my lifetime if I'm willing to pay the price for all of them. No matter what, though, there will be many, many, many pairs of pants in this world that I never get to wear. And that is okay. It really is. I just want to be happy and comfortable in the ones I have on today. Now, obviously, I'm not serious telling this story. I'm just trying to illustrate a point. Dream big! Live large. Learn something new every day. I would never say otherwise. Life is short after all. Let that possibility overload be a source of joy and direction, but not of stress and worry. When your pants get dirty or don't fit anymore or just don't feel good for whatever reason, You can always swap them out for a different pair, but one pair at a time. Or light layers if that's your thing. Just not so many that it becomes cumbersome.

Laura Wakefield: 9:55

There is great peace to be found in being truly present in the choices of today. Really living with them, in them, and through them for a while. Counting the things that went right, and living in gratitude for the bounty that we possess, whatever form that is taking in our lives at the moment. We might be young parents at home with children and missing our freedom. We might be empty nesters whose kids have grown up and we're missing the days of having little kids at home. We might be working a job that sometimes we feel like we wish that we could travel more, or we might be retired and feeling kind of bored and wishing that we had our career back. No matter what stage of life we're in, there's always going to be something that we're looking at in someone else's life that looks interesting. So it's really important to identify the blessings of your life right now today, whatever they may be, and try to live in them. Right now, today, in gratitude. We don't need to have it all. All, in truth, would be way too heavy a burden to carry. So let that go. Put on your favorite pair of jeans and remember that today is a beautiful day, just as it is.

Laura Wakefield: 11:34

Thank you for joining me today on The Joy fulicity Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, please like and share and come follow me on all major social media sites at Joy fulicity, or on my website, joyfulicity.com. You can follow the link in the description for this episode to all of the places that we can connect. Have a great day, everybody. And remember, dare to dream, plan to play, live to learn.