Crashing Into Mailboxes

Welcome to the very 1st episode of The Joyfulicity Podcast. I look forward to sharing thoughts and interviews with you, centering around how to lead a life of joy, even in these trying times that we live in, both individually and collectively. Sometimes life throws us curves and can feel a lot like crashing into a mailbox. But it's worth getting up and trying again, as many times as it takes. 

Transcript

Laura Wakefield: 0:07

Have you ever felt like adulting is an awful lot like crashing into a mailbox over and over and over again? Welcome to the Joy fulicity Podcast. I'm your host, Laura Wakefield, and today I'd like to start by telling you a little story.

Laura Wakefield: 0:27

It all started out pretty well. I was five years old, and the big day had come to take the training wheels off of my bike. My dad held onto the back of the big banana bicycle seat, and my mom and a few neighbors gathered around to cheer me on. This was back in the days when neighbors were all outside participating in each other's lives. It was a wonderful time to grow up. We went up and down the street a few times while I gained my balance and some confidence, and then all of a sudden, without warning, my dad let go of the bike.

Laura Wakefield: 0:55

At first I was a little shaky, but then totally exhilarated that I was actually riding a bicycle all by myself. I was even more excited when I negotiated the turn at the end of the street without messing up. It was a few laps of pure joy before I realized that I was getting a little bit tired and I had a huge problem. You see, we had never talked about how to stop. In hindsight, it would have been better to just call out to my dad to assist me. I wasn't going very fast. He easily could have run to come and help me. Instead, though, I panicked. And I'm pretty sure I actually sped up a little bit as I came careening toward our house. Right about the time that my parents realized what was happening, I was barreling smack into our mailbox. I hit it so hard that it came completely out of the ground, landing on top of me. Of course, this was the 70s, so I wasn't wearing a helmet either. So it was a fairly epic crash and had all of the adults running over to be sure that I was okay. Thankfully, there were no serious injuries, other than to my pride, but I was banged up and I cried a lot as my dad dug me out from under the heap, propped me on the curb, and sat with me while I whimpered, in part from pain, but mostly from embarrassment. Once he was certain that I was truly okay, though, he suggested that we try again. What? I thought. No way! In my five-year-old mind, I was DONE with bike riding. It was no fun at all to fall down and get hurt. Why would I want to do that again? Eventually, though, he coaxed me back onto the bicycle, talked me through the basics of braking and stopping gracefully, and he sent me off again. This time, I coasted in for a smooth stop, all smiles.

Laura Wakefield: 2:48

I spent most of my childhood on that bike. It carried me to school and friends' houses, the pool, pretty much everywhere. In those days, kids had a lot of freedom from a young age, so that bicycle truly expanded my reach and abilities. Amazingly, given the daredevil tricks we all used to do, I never wiped out that badly again. What a blessing that I didn't quit after that first humiliating crash. I would have missed out on so many wonderful memories and experiences if I had. Thanks, Dad, for encouraging me to try it again.

Laura Wakefield: 3:22

You know what I've learned, though? There's a lot of times that adulting feels an awful lot like crashing into a mailbox. Things just don't always go the way we plan. In fact, I would venture to say that most of the time things don't go exactly the way we originally think they will. Life is full of so many heartbreaks and failures and disappointments. The older you get, the bigger your problems seem to get as well. It can be enough some days to make you just want to stay in bed with the covers pulled up over your head. When we get hurt, it is a natural reaction to want to withdraw. By quitting, it feels like we can protect ourselves from failing again in the future. And you know what? In some ways, perhaps we can actually. But the trouble is we also deprive ourselves of the chance at future success. If I refuse to ever date again post-divorce, I definitely might save myself the heartbreak of another failed relationship, but I also would be keeping myself from the possibility of a future loving relationship, which is something that I still very much want. I read one time that the Harry Potter book series was rejected 12 times by publishers before it went on to become some of the highest grossing books and movies in history. What if J.K. Rowling had given up after, say, the tenth rejection? No one would have blamed her. I mean, ten rejections would have been extraordinarily frustrating and painful. If I was her, I would have been questioning whether or not I was even a very good writer, or maybe my stories just really weren't that good if nobody seemed to want them. But I'm fairly certain that today, she is really glad that she kept on submitting those manuscripts anyway.

Laura Wakefield: 5:14

I myself, have a few dreams that have been residing on the back shelf of my life for quite a while now. Do you have any dreams like that? One thing or another always jumps in the way every time you set out to make them realities. I have quit and given up more times than I can recall, questioning whether or not these dreams are even worth the price I'd have to pay to achieve them. Maybe they're just not meant to be, right? I mean, if every time I start moving forward, I get sidetracked by life anyway, what's the point, right? But my dad's voice has been in my head again recently. "Laura, it's time to try again." Fear comes up in me and says, "but what if I crash epically?" Hope says, "but then again, what if I don't?" What if all of my dreams actually come true this time? or somewhere in between. All I know is this, that I have to try, because the day that we stop trying is the day we stop fully living. So we must always summon the courage to begin again and again and again as many times as it takes. One of those dreams for me has been this very podcast. I have been talking about doing this for two to three years. A lot of my friends and family members have encouraged me, but it just has felt like between technical difficulties and life events and just processing some of my own fears inside of myself, it just hasn't happened. So to be recording this first episode today is a really big deal for me. I'm so excited going forward to share with you so many thoughts and ideas that I have and to be interviewing other people with all of their vast array of education and experience, all centering around how to live a joyful and happy life, no matter what circumstances you may find yourself in. It's possible, and I feel like this is a message that the world very much needs to hear. If you're tuning in today for this very first episode of the Joy fulicity Podcast, thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here and for your support.